News of the Weird: Bright Idea

Bright Idea

For Alexander Leszczynski, 22, of North Redington Beach, Florida, it wasn’t enough to be charged with wire fraud, bank fraud and money laundering, the Tampa Bay Times reported. The US Attorney’s Office in Tampa claimed Leszczynski might face up to 30 years in prison for making up charitable entities to receive Payroll Protection Plan loans totaling almost $200,000 and trying to deposit fake checks to the tune of $2.7 million, among other schemes. But wait, there’s more! “When he discovered that the money had been frozen, he attempted to have it released by producing a fabricated pardon purportedly signed by former President Donald Trump,” the US Attorney’s Office said in a news release. One of Leszczynski’s fake charities was trying to seize control of two properties that belonged to Jeffrey Epstein, the disgraced financier who died in prison while awaiting trial on sex-trafficking charges. Leszczynski is being held without bail at the Pinellas County Jail.

Wait, what?

During a preliminary hearing on May 16 in Saginaw County (Michigan) District Court, a 32-year-old unidentified woman tested that her “friend with benefits,” 29-year-old Cortez L. Gill, accidentally shot her once on Nov. 11 — but then proceeded to shoot her eight more times as she and her child struggled to escape him. MLive.com reported that the victim explained that she and Gill “tussled” over some car keys and he pulled out a gun, which he lowered to the ground. “The gun goes off and the bullet hit me … in my abdomen. … I was like, ‘Cortez, I got hit. You have to call the police or get me in the car and take me to the hospital immediately.’” Instead, she said, Gil replied, “You see what you made me do?” and fired again at her, hitting her in the chest. She and her daughter ran outside, where she collapsed in a neighbor’s yard. The next thing she remembers is waking up in a hospital on the day before Thanksgiving, where she learned that she had been shot nine times in total. Gil was bound over for trial.

I’ll just have water, thanks

Investigators in Vancouver, Washington, looking into the sexual exploitation of children uncovered another nasty habit of Stephen Sharp, a night manager at an Arby’s restaurant there. On May 10, Fox11-TV reported, Sharp admitted that he had downloaded and distributed child pornography. After conducting a search of his digital devices, police also found a video of him urinating into a container of milkshake mix from Arby’s. He confessed that he had done so at least twice for sexual gratification. Sharp said it would have been added to another bag of mix and used during the next shift to make shakes for customers. Officers are seeking people who might have ordered a shake on Oct. 30 or 31, 2021, and still have a receipt; Sharp is facing multiple charges and eating institutional food at the Clark County jail.

Crotch shot

Kingsland, Arkansas, about 70 miles south of Little Rock, is the birthplace of Johnny Cash, and the town has honored him with a silhouette of the Man in Black on its water tower, The Wichita Eagle reported. But when Betty Graham, water office manager, arrived at her office early on May 11, she noticed what she first thought was a leak from the tower. Later she realized a sharpshooter had hit the tank right at Cash’s sweet spot, creating the illusion that the famous singer is relieving himself. Graham said it could take at least a week to repair the damage; in the meantime, comments on a local Facebook page ranged from “would be a better tourist attraction than Old Faithful” to “Someone here knows who did this. I hope they’ll come forward and turn the vandal in.” “People think it’s funny, but a lot of hard work and effort went into getting the grant to get this painted,” Graham said.

– distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication